2013

2013
New year New Hope??

Today is the 10th day into 2013 and I'm feeling DOWN almost everyday.
Sometimes I just refused to get out of bed because i know there's a ton of problems waiting for me.
SIGH~ why cant life be simpler.

Ezra means "HELPER".
No wonder sometimes i just HAVE to help.
For example : I see someone struggling with something, then I'd volunteer to help out

It seems like a good thing but IN FACT its not.
I have extra things to do and more things to worry about.

I guess its time to STOP worrying and looking out for 'people'.
Because its not worth it and its been doing me more harm than good.

So, this year I will invest ALL my TIME in MYSELF.
Do the things that I love.
And not be bothered about anything and everything.

Sounds like a GREAT plan :)

Dreams

Hmm.. life has gotten stagnant here.. So is my blog. LOL

After all these years, i still hate ACCA. But I'll try my best to complete it? heh ~

And also I've gotten lots of feedback that I'm so unapproachable..

This is what people usually say about me :
1. Proud. Sombong. Hidung Tinggi
2. Ice Queen ( I'm very cold towards people.. )
3. Cold Blooded ( Always rejecting people?? )
4. Stone cold heart ( no feelings.. emotion..)

I should be feeling rejected and dejected now.. BUT I kinda feel happy about it??
Why?????? Maybe because I'm weird that way. hmmm

Since I'm so cold etc etc.. I did TRY to be friendly

1st attempt - Said hi to a guy with the friendliest smile i can manage.
His reaction - he jumped. Yes. jumped. And stuttered h..hi.. E..zra..
 *told dad about it.. and he said that my smile is CREEPY. ahhahah

2nd attempt - Walk towards a group of people and they dispersed.. O.O Am i that scary???

So.. I'll just be the stone cold me.. sigh.. # FOREVERALONE

I DONT WANNA BE FOREVERALONE!!!!

Since most of the people around me has a bf/gf. I feel left out. *SNIFF
I also want a BF. sigh...........

Look on the bright side. I'll be going to KL again next Thursday~~ wheee~~
Actually i just came back from KL last week..

I love KL so much.The FOOD. SHOPPING.
And i might just move there to fulfill my whimsical dreams <3
tata~

....

Felt awful.
Lost a big client.

I have always felt that KL is a good place for me venture, expand my business.
Business is ALWAYS great there.

Now back here in Sarawak. I can hardly make 10% of what I used to make.
Sometimes, not even 1 sales in 30days.
WHY??? WHY is this happening????????????????????????????????????

Wanted to give up many times..
But I've put in a lot of money and effort in this and I'm NOT just gonna give up this easily.

And right now, i'm on the verge on giving up.
Why? Someone undercut me. Lost my major client.


People can say a lot of nice things, encouragement. But its so easy just to say something and offer words of comfort. But in reality it doesnt help at all. Sometimes it gives us FALSE hope.

And.. problems just keep piling up.

1. My hair is hating me alot. No matter how i style it, treatment it, IT still looks like HAY..
2. Body is seriously OUT-OF-SHAPE. I hate myself for overeating.
3. Pimples just love me. They SCARRED me. I cant wear bareback, singlets all because of them.
When i'm rich enough, I'm just gonna laser it off.

SIEN to the MAX.!!!!

Someone once told me 'You dont need to be in KL for God to bless you, He can bless you here in Miri. If you let Him. '

So God here I am. Waiting. For You to bless me and make everything beautiful. In Your time.

I feel hopeless, helpless. But i know You are my source of hope and strength.
And i will do my best and persevere to the end.

Because I know You are with me.

Detained AGAIN

this is the 3rd time my things got detained at custom.

*CLAP CLAP* custom officers love my parcel so much that they have to  keep detained it

Ok.. I mad pissed now!
My second box of things got detained this week!!!
ARGHHHHH.. Why do you have to detain my parcel?
Its just papers inside.
PAPERS!!!!

I ask them why, they said need to send to SIRIM for approval.
WAHHAHA... papers and backdrop stand also need to send to SIRIM for approval kah??

听了都差点气死去　@.@

Before i can go berserk ,  this verse came into my mind

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

I Thessalonians 5 : 18

Then , i calmed down.
Thank God for His care and blessing in my life which is worth much more than the papers and backdrop stand i bought.

钱，是可以赚回来的。。
可是我买的东西，在马来西亚用钱都买不到的。。


I just prayed with all my heart that somehow, my items will be released with paying any fines or custom clearance fee.

Detained Detained

The word i feared most!
Detained.. No.. i dont mean i got detained.
My goods got detained.
My lighting kit.
Apparently, We're not supposed to import electrical products into Malaysia.
How am i supposed to know?? ABX allowed me to import.
@##$$%$@#$$$@#  *not suppose to use vulgarity in my life*

Story goes like this,

I wanted to get a lighting kit and photography paper background thing for as long as i can remember. *not  very long lah. since last year june?? lol*
But what deterred me from getting it its because of the sky high prices in Malaysia.
And China is selling less than 1/2  of what Malaysia is selling...
So i thought i'm so clever to find such a good deal and immediately bought those items without checking Malaysia rules on prohibited items..
Wait for 4 freaking long days... STILL no news on the whereabouts of my things.
Then just now, got a call from ABX shipping company.
They say , Cik Ezra, items kau detained kat custom.
I was so UPSET.. *almost burst out in tears..! * Then i felt extremely angry..
Angry because since ABX know i'm importing prohibited products, they should have warned me..
I felt like scolding them, saying its all their faults..
But In my heart i prayed God you gotta help me out this time.
instead of being angry and anxious and sad and frustrated * you know how girls get when all this emotions hit all at once.. they get MAD. haha*
I felt peace in my heart. Peaceful as in everythings gonna be ok.
Then i also accept the fact that custom MIGHT not release my things.
There are just some risk you have to take in life.

Then, ABX girl called back and say that my bulbs and lighting stand needs to be approved by SIRIM.
And we all know how things work here. How things get approved.
She said we're not gonna do it for you.
you gotta go to Suruhanjaya to do it yourself.
And i say, i really dont know how to, i'm just a student..
She said call the Custom Officer.
I said ok.

I know where all this is going. I know they will ask for smth ($$$) in returned.
But i dont care. I just want my lights.
Its like we're at their mercy. AHAHHAHA
Called the custom office, they say they will handle the paperwork
AND AND AND AND AND, she say i gotta balas her for her pertolongan.
I said how much. She said name your price.
I said i'm just a student. She said RM400.
I said no. I said RM200 and i want to receive it this week. (Today's Weds btw)
She said ok. i will give you the bank account.
Paperwork with sirim will be done tmr morning..

Whoopee~ easy peasy right...
But horr... i gotta borrow money from my mom. kekeke...

Its partly my fault because i did not double on the rules in Malaysia.
So nobody to blame but myself
-
-
-
-
-
and ABX!!

At least this time it does not involve the court and a lawyer.

I have a little history of items getting detained. * erm.. this is only the second time my things got detained*

First time was when my aunt in Singapore sent me PROACTIV skincare for my pimply face. (at that time proactiv is still not available in Malaysia)
Then all the drama starts...
I received a letter from Court saying that i import drugs la.. etc etc.
At first i wasnt scared, i laugh and told my mom.. see, i have a letter from the court..
But she isnt laughing nor smiling.
Next thing i know, we went to a lawyer.
Sign this and that... couldnt remember much..
 all i know is telling everyone that i got 'sued' in a sense. hah
To cut the story short,  proactiv was released to me.

Years later, Proactiv is selling in M'sia...
So.... i'm like the first girl to use Proactiv in M'sia


okay.. enough ramblings for today...
That's all :) :)

Chinese New year preparation

Ezra's Cookie!!

I make this biscuit every year for the past 5 yrs?

Mom, sis and I made all these..

except the the kuih momo and cornflake biscuit.

There's still more than half of it not shown!! 

This year we make almost everything on our own because all the cookies are selling at a RM25-RM30 per tub. 

And they dont taste nice either..

That's all for today :)

I know, my blog is getting B-O-R-I-N-G  xP

什么叫做 ‘真爱’

一九四三世界大战
阿嬷年轻的时候
爷爷爱他那么多
他们感情很深

 但是爷爷身负重任
就在离乡的那夜
给了阿嬷一个吻

 轻声说到
我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开

因为会有那么一天
我们牵着手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

 夕阳西下鸟儿回家
阿嬷躺在病床上
呼吸有一点散漫
眼神却很温柔

 看着爷爷湿透的眼
握着他粗糙的手
阿嬷泪水开始流
轻声说道

我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开

因为会有那么一天
我们牵着手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你

 听我说声我爱你

 现在的世界，还能找到这种得爱吗？

歌曲:会有那么一天
歌手:林俊杰

Plans CANCELLED

I dont think I'll be staying in KL. EVER! *unless i marry a KL guy* kekeke

I dont feel great about this "NEW" year.

I feel OLD.. *wait.. i AM old.. zzzz
I am 22 and I most of the time somtimes behave like a 14 yr old. Why oh why?? I tried so hard to grow up...

My dad's 2012 resolution : " I hope ah Girl (me =.=) brings a BF back home.. if not really LAO CHU NV (old virgin).. "

Wah.. I almost FAINTED when he put it in such a blunt and funny way..

I DONT wanna become a LCN ( lao chu nv) T.T

Why nobody want me??? too fat?? not pretty??

I KNOW...

1. I'm too FIERCE..
2. I'm not sociable, definitely not people friendly ( u see,i'm so big already still hide behind my parents. EVERYTIME)
3. And I dont know why the first impression i gave people is that i am STUCK-UP, Hidung Tinggi, Sao nai nai...
4. I seldom smile.. Most of the time i dont smile.. Smiling is TIRING @.@
5. I complain a lot... In fact, I LOVE complaining... heh~
6. I'm quite judgemental at times


sigh.. all these are LCN syndrome!!

Who's gonne be the ANTIDOTE <3 <3 to cure this LCN sickness??

Whoever you are, wherever you are.. COME INTO MY LIFE A.S.A.P

I dont wanna be #forever alone *cry*

* the length of my mouth = 1/2 the width of my face *

New Year New Start New Life

I'm thinking about going back to KL.
I strongly believe that I'll have a better chance at expanding my business there.

Life may be difficult but I'm willing to face it.
I'm willing to work HARDER than people my age.
I will go the EXTRA mile until I have completed what I'm set to do.

The more I think about it, the more excited I am.

Hmm.. But is it neccessary for me to leave Miri?

I'm still thinking and praying about it...

Over the years

sigh.

Getting older.

Facts

I dont remember birthdays.

I talk a lot. ONLY to those who i'm really close with.

I'm an introvert.
I'm a hermit.

I spend most of my time dreaming.

I carry a Nikon D7000 and still take lousy images.

*anyone willing to be my personal tutor?

I love money. which is bad because money is the root of all evil..

I love to change my hairstyle, hair colour!

* one every 3 months? bad for hair. I know.

I cant survive without coffee+milk.

I definitely cant survive without shopping. Heh~

I love going for facial, manicure and pedicure.

I can eat half a chicken when i'm very hungry.

I can not drink water for the wholeday and yet doesnt feel thirsty.

I like it when people ask me to drink water.

I like it when people ask me to sleep early.

*很像那些偶像剧。。*starts dreaming*

I always disturb my parents when they are sleeping / about to sleep.

Like every girls out there, I  want to marry a rich, handsome, caring guy.

"Dream on", says papa and mommy. HAHA

The End.

Boring Monday

Me & my drug.. Coffee.......

From 9am till now, I'm still sitting here. sipping coffee. Eating jellies.

Still no ideas on how to run my business MORE effectively.

God, give me inspiration.

I need You

一个人

When i look at these pictures, i feel..........emo

*psst : all pics taken by yours truly. wahahah

#irrelevant

Bro actually say that i am those 'foreveralone' type!! GAHHH!!~

know why?? cos i kept getting F.A.T.T.E.R

But papa say 胖是福。

The bigger/fatter you are, the more prosperous you'll be. lolol~

So next time imma find a round BF. 

Bye.

Bintulu *part 1

 We stayed at Imperial suites, Studio Bedroom. RM100 per night.

What a small corridor 

 *studio bedroom* so small but really clean and comfy

 Bathroom

 Weird aircon

 

oh look! i can touch the ceiling =.=

cute fire extinguisher 

 Notice anything missing from the room???

They dont have a mirror!!

 view from my room.

*swimming pool view is from another room*

 Supermarket. i forgot the name.

We went to bintulu for Pastor Tiong's wedding.

sigh

There are times i just wanna give up.
Stop caring so much.
Because those people dont care about anything but themselves.
If you care for them. They find that you're invading their privacy.
If you worry about them. They find you annoying.
Whats the point of doing so much???
I used to protect you all but now I dont care.
In fact I  find that i really hate you.
I dont want to care anymore.
Cos all u know is to bring problems.
AFter we solved one problem, u bring back another one and another.

So today, i bid u farewell. Because i wouldnt care anymore.
Dont complain. You made me do it.
I've been keeping this in my heart for almost a year and its killing me.
Why cant i have a problem free life??

不明白

There are times I just dont know what is wrong with you
Your parents gave you everything you need
What more do you want??

Cant you respect them?
Why do you have to yell at them?
Look at your surrounding.
Look at what they've provided you which many parents dont!!
Attention, Love..
They listen and laugh with your silly lame jokes
What more do you want?
You tell others about God. You want them to believe God.
And look at you!! You are 10x worse than them.
Where is your God in your life???

You have no conscience. You have no moral value. You have no principles in life.
And yet your parents still love your unconditionally.

I dont understand parents.
How can they love to such an extend.
If its me, i would have disown you a long long time ago.

You said they dont care about you.
I say YOU dont care about anything.
You care for nothing BUT yourself.

How can you be so BLIND?
If you think other families can provide better,
By all means, go and live with them
AND DONT EVER COME BACK!!!

sigh....
Why do you even exist?
God knows why.........

ME and Momma

I love my family.

Sis Birthday

we went to Menawan Restaurant at Imperial Palace for sis Birthday.

Love the atmosphere. Love the food. Love the service!

 Sis ordered Omelet. 

Comes in really large servings

 Sis & Omelet :)

Appetizers

Mussels with cheese. Yummeh :)

 Mussels and I.
*My face seems to be getting droopier each day :(

 Mom's Lamb Shank

Meat is really tender

 Dad's grilled Salmon.

Taste very common. Nothing special

Bro's Chicken and Steak

The steak is too well done. Bro prefer it to be medium rare.

I didnt ordered anything because i ate 2 mushroom dumpling at home. LOL

I love this place.

Would definitely come again :)

Random OLD pics :

Should i cut bangs again????
Dilemma o.0

Singapore Chicken Rice

 mom's nails

Yesterday we went to Boulevard to buy glitter glue for Kid's Zone.

But end up in SCR.

 Look, the colour combination is just....AWFUL!

I thought i'm the only one with bad taste. AHAHH

Then there's this waitress..

HER NAME IS MARYLYN smth!

*the waitress in the center of thepic*

She's SOOOO rude.. 

When we asked her to take order, she actually ROLLED her eyes at us!

KI SI WA..

And then she just throw the order paper on the table.

Singapore Chicken Rice, if u;re reading this..

YOU CAN FIRE HER NAO!

Cuz ppl served by her wont come the second time.

 Fried Chicken Rice.

The plates all bought from the RM2 store. AHHAHA

I saw SupaSave RM2 store selling the same plate

The chicken rice taste so-so only..
And the meat is so salty..

Yours truly with her chicken rice + no mood face :)

Can someone teach me how to do my hair and face?

21 liao still clueless about makeup and stuff *sniff*