Plans CANCELLED

I dont think I'll be staying in KL. EVER! *unless i marry a KL guy* kekeke

I dont feel great about this "NEW" year.

I feel OLD.. *wait.. i AM old.. zzzz
I am 22 and I most of the time somtimes behave like a 14 yr old. Why oh why?? I tried so hard to grow up...

My dad's 2012 resolution : " I hope ah Girl (me =.=) brings a BF back home.. if not really LAO CHU NV (old virgin).. "

Wah.. I almost FAINTED when he put it in such a blunt and funny way..

I DONT wanna become a LCN ( lao chu nv) T.T

Why nobody want me??? too fat?? not pretty??

I KNOW...

1. I'm too FIERCE..
2. I'm not sociable, definitely not people friendly ( u see,i'm so big already still hide behind my parents. EVERYTIME)
3. And I dont know why the first impression i gave people is that i am STUCK-UP, Hidung Tinggi, Sao nai nai...
4. I seldom smile.. Most of the time i dont smile.. Smiling is TIRING @.@
5. I complain a lot... In fact, I LOVE complaining... heh~
6. I'm quite judgemental at times


sigh.. all these are LCN syndrome!!

Who's gonne be the ANTIDOTE <3 <3 to cure this LCN sickness??

Whoever you are, wherever you are.. COME INTO MY LIFE A.S.A.P

I dont wanna be #forever alone *cry*

* the length of my mouth = 1/2 the width of my face *

New Year New Start New Life

I'm thinking about going back to KL.
I strongly believe that I'll have a better chance at expanding my business there.

Life may be difficult but I'm willing to face it.
I'm willing to work HARDER than people my age.
I will go the EXTRA mile until I have completed what I'm set to do.

The more I think about it, the more excited I am.

Hmm.. But is it neccessary for me to leave Miri?

I'm still thinking and praying about it...

Adventure awaits me

 

When I've gathered up all my courage.

I will start my life somewhere else.

KL, perhaps?

我很累  很累了

I need my own space.

I need to B.R.E.A.T.H.E

I've had enough of people who DISRUPT my life.

Sigh.

Past and Present

 我不想长大

so emo.
Went window shopping with my bestie today.
saw some pretty necklaces. Bears.cute fluffy keychain. Gift boxes.

It reminded me of my secondary school life.
Gifts like necklace, earring, bears, keychains are a norm to me.
I know i'll get them on Vday or Bday or Mooncake Festival (yea, i received roses once!! hahah. weird.)
I get all excited and jumpy when i received all these gift.

As i get older, things like that gets lesser and lesser..
I no longer receive necklace, bears or keychains.
No more fuss during my bday. It just feels like a yearly routine to me.

I 'loved' to text... I loved receiving sms... I like answering calls...
My heart always skipped a beat when my phone rings.
"Hi, Ezra. How's your day?"
"Hi, Ezra How are you?" etcetc
I look forward to everything.


Now, i dread when my phone rings.
"Miss Ezra, your payment of RMxxx is due"
"Miss Ezra, you missed your appointment"

Bleh. Growing up is NO FUN AT ALL!
I wanna go back to those days. Life used to be so happy! Exciting! Carefree!

When bees swarmed over me, i complained.
Now all the bees are gone. occasionally there's a few lalats. LOL * only my mother knows what i'm talking about here. *
Bo hu, he ya ho?


我觉得有一点可惜。
以前不懂得珍惜和享受。
No point for me to dwell in the past.
What is done is done. What is gone is gone.

I wish there's a REPLAY button or REWIND button in my life.
I'll just replay all the happy parts in my life. How great it'll be :)

Where is SAFE?

This is gonna be an EMO post...

I regard Miri as a safe heaven. And i insists that it;s one of the safest city in M'sia.
But, a girl was found dead.. 5-10mins from where i stay. She went missing for less than 24hours.
Why is this happening in Miri?
Then, i realise.... No where is safe in this world..

Look around you, the world is falling apart.
Tsunamis and Earthquake. Incurable diseases..

There's no way to run, no place to hide...
Evil, catastrophe are lurking at every corners of the earth..

Are you ready to face it?
Do you know where you'll be heading next????

1st pic for 2011 :)

When i got my GF1 last year.. i was really sad.
cos it was soooo EXPENSIVE and it cant take good pictures..

During a youth camp in Dec, U. William taught me how to set the Aperture and EV thingy..
SO... now i'm happy user ^^

btw, the pictures are NOT ps or edited. i only resized it :)

I love my Baby Cammie :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!

Day At beach

Went to Tanjong just now..
Just wanna clear my mind and enjoy His creation..

*pics taken with hp*

 A lovely sight should be spent with a special someone..

so where is my special someone when i need him??

The tide is really coming in.. i'm standing on top of the rocks..

if u;re here i know u wouldnt allow me to climb that high..

its treacherous..!!

If i fall... then.......

 This is the 情人桥 haha.. but i din went there because i dont have a lover with me. 

hahahhaha

Wish i had someone to watch the sunset with me..

The sight was breathtaking...

Sigh... Life isnt easy i know...

* below.. totally irrelevant with the post*

this is me.. i'm wearing blue contacts.. Nice??

BLEK.. my face is way TOO BIG...

Anywayz... have a great day everyone..

I'm off to bed.

Tataa...

p.s : Good night to 'you' too :) we're still friends right?

生命中最悲哀的事？

生命中最悲哀的事莫过于放弃追逐你所爱的人，看着她远离，她对于你的重要并不能使回馈给你什么，无论你追逐多久，你还是要让她走，我们容易沉浸在现有的快乐中，久久陶醉却不能自拔，当这快乐突然消失，我们茫然不知所措，为失去的快乐限入苦闷的深渊，却没有发现在生命中的其他地方还有很多快乐等待着我们去感受，最好的朋友不需要任何语言的沟通，当她走时，你只需坐在回廊上，轻轻地挥挥手，却得是你曾经有过的最美妙的沟通，我们在失去的时候才懂得曾经拥有过，可我们也在得到时发现我们曾经缺少的，在付出爱好的时候，谁也不确定自己是否会得到回报，不要期待着得到爱，慢慢的等待着你的爱在她心中生根发芽，即使不会，你也当满足，因为你心中已有了一片爱的绿洲……

也许有许多话你永远也不可能从你期待的人口中说出，但是、当有些人从心底讲出这些话时，也请你不要走开、如果你还恋恋不舍，那天请不要转过你的头，如果你的心还没有安定，那么请你永远不要说放弃．如果你还爱她、为什么曾说不爱，爱属于那些曾灰心失望却仍然期待的人！爱属于那些曾被出卖欺骗却仍然坚持美好的人！爱属于那些纵然伤痕累累却仍渴求爱的人！！

和一个人反目只要一分钟，和一个人相爱却要一个小时，而忘记一个人却要花上一生的时间，不要为了美丽的外表而动心，那么也许只是假象．不要为了财富而动心，那终将变淡褪色，走向那个能使你会心微笑的人吧！

因为一个微笑可以把黑暗照亮，希望你能找到那个把你生命照亮的人，当你深深思念的人出现在你梦中时，你真的希望能够感受到她真实的拥抱，希你在梦中能够触碰到她的脸庞，做你想做的梦、做你想做的事、去你想去的地方、成为你想成为的人，因为一个微笑可以把黑暗照亮，希望你能找到那个把你生命照亮的人，当你深深思念的人出现在你梦中时，你真的希望能够感受到她真实的拥抱，希你在梦中能够触碰到她的脸庞，做你想做的梦、做你想做的事、去你想去的地方、成为你想成为的人，因为你只有一次生命能满足你的要求，祝福你有无限的快乐，使你的生活甜美，无数的尝试磨练你使变的坚强，无尽的痛苦使变的性格迥异，万贯的钱财，以给我买一件礼物，永远设身外地的为她人着想，当她受伤时，“别人”的心或许也在痛，一句无心的话可能引起一场争斗，一句残酷的话可能毁掉一个人的生活，一句及时的话可能会风平浪静，一句充满爱心的话可能会治愈别人的伤口！

爱的真谛，是让你爱的人完全的做她自己，而不是让她成为你理想的人，否则、你爱的只是你在她身上找到你的影子，最快乐的人不是最完美的人，他们只充分的利用他们所能掌握在手中的，哭过的人、受伤过的人、尝试过的人充满感激的人才是真正懂得快乐的人，爱从一个微笑开始，在拥抱中延伸，却随眼泪逝去…

Jogging..

* dunno why all of a sudden i have the mood to blog* haha

Went jogging today with Shariel..
It feels good talking to her after not seeing her for so many months..

She;s a GREAT friend.

I feel so tired today.. Really tired...

and my head is killing me..

its only 730pm and i feel like going to bed already...
Maybe i should. considering i;ve not been sleeping enough for few days..

Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. 

In all your ways acknowledge Him. and He will make your path straight.

Wishing you all the best

Nothin left , no regrets , no hard feelings wish you all the best.

No blame, no shame it's time to say it's over I guess

We both agree it's the right thing , the only thing left to do.

You win, I win , we lose


Sometimes love dont work out , no matter how hard you try.

Lord knows  we didn't start out to say goodbye.

If its a win , win situation , then why am I feelin so blue?

You win, I win , we lose.


You take yours, I'll take mine, we'll leave nothin but memories behind.

Of a love and a dream that some how faded with time.

Your saying your goin your way and I'm going somewhere to.

You win, I win, we lose

"Hi"

One word, that's all you said
Something in your voice called me, turned my head
Your smile, just captured me
You were in my future as far as I could see
And I dont know how it happens, but it happens still
You asked me if I love you, if I always will

Well you had me from hello
I felt love start to grow
The moment I looked into your eyes you won me
It was over from the start you completely stole my heart

What do you do when the world says you're through?
you're standing in the dark
What do you say when hope fades away?
you're left with a broken heart..
Tell me where do you find the strength you need to answer the call?
The place to begin, is when you fall

Where do you go when there's nowhere to go?
wondering how you're gonna leave
What do you feel when it all seem so real
and there's nothing more to give
Tell me who do you call when the chips are down
and you face your fears alone
That's when you reach down inside and become strong


Why do you try and continue to try?
no matter what the outcome is
Over again you're looking ahead
and finding answer to the quiz
Tell me why do you get back up again
in spite of how hard you fall
You'll find out who you are
through it all

you can achieve what seems impossible
cause I'm a believer
You know you can, if giving a chance you'll seize the opportunity

you can rise above the clouds and reach beyond the sky
just spread your wings and fly







i believe you can <3

Blessed beyond my expectation

My life starting to get interesting and wonderful.
Life's jigsaw puzzles is slowly being put together! ( more meaningful, purposeful life)

Indeed God never fails..

He never give me what i asked for.

BUT he gave me something BETTER than what i asked for.

i am so blessed.

SO happy now..

not giving up!

Have you ever felt like giving up at some point in your life?

I'm not planning to give up YET.. there's still many things to be done.!!

and yes.. i REALLY enjoy life despite not being able to understand my studies..

many of you say to me.. just read more, do more past year question.. sure can pass!!

the more i read.. the more i do exercise.. the MORE confuse i am.

I cant sleep well at night. I have nightmares abt it.

Sometimes when i think abt it, cold sweat would start pouring down. or when it is a hot day, i will feel cold.

It;s a nasty feeling. i can always sleep till 10am/11am.. Now, i always wake up at 5am/6am..

when i feel so so so tired and exhausted.. i just couldnt sleep. i closed my eyes.. but i just cant sleep!!

some of my frens are going to graduate from ACCA this year..

And me.. still struggling to go thru the first level..

I feel so............. Defeated..... Inadequate... compared to them.. ( i am a kia su person) haha

I used to loved studying so much.. i would attend tuition after tuition... doing revision after revision..

Studying used to be so much FUN!!  YEs.. studying is fun.. and so so so fulfilling during those days..

If repeating Form 5 for 5 years will get me a Degree... I'D GLADLY DO IT!!!

Why did i choose ACCA in the first place??? No idea.. no idea.. no idea...

If i decided to quit..
i can always set up a stall to sell porridge.HAHAHAH..
my dad says one hor.. long time ago.. haha..

at least I know i can support myself out there in this cruel world.
I wont die of starvation.. live on streets..

I know i can survive..

I will have a HOUSE, and carSSS and CATSSSS..

but have to get a CERT.. no CERT = no FACE..

if my frens all get degree.. wear smart smart go work in places like SHELL.. KPMG..
and i am selling porridge at kopitiam... THAT would be SO funny.... haha..

sell porridge also can earn money k...

ok.. i dunno what to write anymore..

re-live my life

If one day God tells me, :" I'm giving you a chance to re-live yr life again.

You may go back in time to mend your past or you can go to the future and skip all the hardships in life."

HMMMM...

what would my answer be?

Simple ^^

I wanna be here. NOW. PRESENT!!!

duh,., you might be thinking.. WHY?? a lot of ppl say that they wanna go back to the past..

initially, i also wanna go back to the past..

to mend all my mistakes.. so that there wont be any failures..

ONE failure that hit me hard was i failed my CAT T10!!

I studied the Hardest for that paper compared to other papers..

WHY I STILL FAIL??

it's like the first time i fail for my test k..

It's really a big deal for me then..

BUT my parents are VERY supportive..

Look at what my dad sms me that night when i told him i failed..

" In life there are more issues to handle than exams. Failure in exams is just a small test of your perseverance. Success come through demonstration in overcoming failure in life.

Dad and Mom have confidence in you overcoming the little failure.

Learn not to depend on yourself but seek God's guidance and He will help u to overcome you life.

Always remember success comes through failures and obstacle in life.

Love : Mom & Dad ''

It's very encouraging and comforting to hear that right?

I've been thinking..

If werent for those failuresssss in my life..

I wouldnt be what i am today!

Thank you Mommy and Papa.

I really look up to you guys..

So.. yeah... i dun wanna go back in time or to the future..

 

Just wanna continue what i'm doing now ^^

I wanna go back to Sunway

Gah !!!

i wanna go back to my lil apartment in Sunway!!

WHY?

cos i couldn't stand it here.

how do u like spending yr holidays getting super mad,
angry, hearing people slam door, quarrel???

i really DISLIKE it and HATE it !!!

in KL, i only get mad like once every 6 months?
haha

life is less stressful there =)

Am thinking of staying there for a few years longer if situation at home hasnt improve !

6 more days
and i'll be back to a happy simple life in KL !!!

Yippeee